A Brief Synopsis of The J's (AKA: The Kafeteria Kids of America)

I was going to do this post on a story about my trading of a working car for 15 loose cans of Schlitz Malt Liquor at age 16, but I realized that to understand such a thing would require the knowledge of who the the key characters involved were. Matter of fact, for many of these posts, you would need to know who the key members of miscellaneous groups, bands, and gangs I've hung out with throughout the years are. Otherwise our actions might be wrongly interpreted as random, senseless acts of violence.... well many of them were, but that is not the point. This is the story of the group of friends I hung out with throughout high school, The J’s.

Kuban J and Drunk J

Back  then I always hung out with the older kids because most people in my grade weren't into music the same as I. Particularly, aggressive music. As it stood, none of the J’'s were into the same genre of music. We all came from different backgrounds. I listened to punk, Jay #1 listened to metal Jay #2 listened to experimental Residents type stuff, and JZ listened was a Juggalo. There wasn't anyone else in our bumfuck country town that listened to anything other than top-40 and new-country, so because we didn't have the luxury of hanging out with people of similar taste due to there being zero scene in Madison Township, we were all banded together as the group of weird outcasts.

In retrospect, it was kinda cool to hang out with people that didn’t listen to your particular genre of music. I introduced them to Social Distortion, they introduced me to Gwar, and before many years our tastes contained enough bleed-over that we discovered music that all of us could tolerate while riding in one anothers cars... although we all agreed that JZ was retarded as all hell  for enjoying the “stylings” of Insane Clown Posse.

Kaf Kids and The Kick A Cunts

So this is the story (or at the least a brief synopsis) of the J's. The J's consisted of myself, JZ, and two other members named Jay.... get it? The J's? Well we didn't come up with it, that was a nickname that stuck, given to us by a punk band in the neighboring scene of Middletown. They were the Kick A Cunts... and I’ll be covering them in my next blog.

Looking back, for being friends we were all cruel as shit to each other as our nicknames arose from the worst or most shameful attribute each of us had. We always joked at one another's expense and we were always picking on one member or the other.

Jay #1 was nicknamed Fat J for potentially obvious reasons, he was a big fucking dude... but he didn’t mind the nickname. Fat J was sort of the ringleader of the group, not that he was any more in charge than the rest of us, we just tended to mainly hang out at his place and ride in his car. He was the sort of guy who called you a faggot for having a conversation where you displayed any sort of emotion, but then would drive you to fight a guy and back you up during it if someone tried to jump you.

Jay #2 was nicknamed Krazy J. Krazy was good people, damn good infact. The kind of guy who would give you the shirt off his back without you asking for it. He came from good stock too, his parents were solid human beings, a rarity in this life. A few years  prior to his hanging out with us, Jay had hung with the popular crowd, and it is my estimation that they used his good naturedness to hang at his amazing house and play with his amazing toys. I suspect he either grew too smart to deal with this or was for some reason ostracized from the group. He could be a bit strange some days, but then again, who of us fucking aren't. But his demeanor toward others and their reception to him is why we dubbed him Krazy J.

JZ was nicknamed Kuban J. Why? Because we were fucking cruel to each other and he obviously came from sort of hispanic descent... even though both his "mother and father" were as white as a klansman's hood. Kuban was a Juggalo... and if you don't know what that is, do a google search and prepare yourself for the weirdest sub-genre/cult of music in the fucking world. A brief synopsis of the movement would read like this: They dress up like hell-spawned clowns in black and white makeup, drink Faygo, and are proud to be the whitest of white trash. Its fucking strange to say the lease, and to them, that would be a compliment.

Me at 18

Me? Oh I was known far and wide (and would continue to be for years) as Drunk J. Why? Go fucking figure, even at 16 I was a committed (albeit functioning) alcoholic. I was so known for my alcoholism at this early age that even Fat J's parents didn't have a problem with my drinking in their house (though no one else could) because as they said it, "He's got issues". My issues? Getting kicked out of my fucking parents house every two weeks. I'd bounce back and forth between my mother and fathers house until occasionally they ganged up on me and both kicked me out simultaneously.

My solution? No problem, I'll just go live at Fat’s house. It never lasted more than a few weeks or a month, but there were many, many nights I stayed there due to a lack of other options, and much as Krazy's parents were solid humans, so were Fat J's. They fed me, allowed me to sleep on their floor, and never raised issue one with it. Looking back, I'm incredibly grateful about that, and for Fat J allowing me to do it as well. As I said, he WAS a cocksucker, but he was my cocksucker... though not literally.

We all even had a band called the Kafeteria Kids Of Amerika (noticing a trend with the K's? Not even I am sure about that). What did we do? Well not much, we all played instruments to varying degrees, but we never played one show because we didn't make any goddamn music. We were the only band that did not practice or play. There are a handful of 5-6 demos that we recorded, but they are as low-fi as it gets and no more than us screaming into a mic with a few instruments accompanying.

Our lyrics made fun of ourselves, and handicapped children (told you we were cruel). We were nicknamed the Kaf Kids and got our name from the fact that the "helpers" in our schools cafeteria were mentally handicapped.... Just being honest here, judge all you want, but in our defense, most of our songs made fun of ourselves, songs like "Roush is a Penis", "I Am A Piece Of Shit", or "JZ fucked a goat" are overly apparent of this. You can expect this to be included as a future part of my AntiCurrent.com Archive series.

So that's us. Now I can tell you stories of the mischief, mayhem, and disorder that we caused and don't have to re-explain who the fuck we were.

The problem with the new "Tattoo Culture"

I wrote this paper a few months ago and for reasons that I cannot explain, will never be able to publish it (not to imply anyone ever would anyway). So I figured what the hell, Ill just stick it up here.

Tattoo Reality Check- By Josh Roush

Tattoo "reality" shows, and numerous popular musicians are heaving the previously rebellious tattoo culture of yesteryear into today's American mainstream. This surge, combined with an extreme lack of forethought has led the concept of tattoos away from its roots of stating individualism to a redefinition of uniformity. Getting a piece of art that will be forever displayed on your body until the time of your death (and shortly thereafter) is not something to be taken lightly. After all, not only are tattoos permanently affixed to your body they will shape how you are perceived by the general populace for the rest of your life.

Gone are the days when tattoos signified the events that had occurred in your life.Once upon a time, a tear drop tattoo next to your eye meant that you had killed someone in prison. Now it may signify nothing more than someone attempting to upset their parents. Tattoos used to hold a deep, spiritual meaning (albeit sometimes a dangerous one) to the person that had "collected" it. Today, many of the original meanings have been bastardized into pointlessness by the over and ignorant use of their imagery.

Until recently, tattoos were only acquired by those who had no false ambitions of ever completely fitting into society. These groups of people consisting mainly of sailors and convicts would spend months, even years at a time away from home, all the while knowing full well that when they returned, it was only to be temporary. Due to this, tattoos used to come with an air of mystery, danger and adventure to them. The air has as of late, become stagnant.

For some people getting a tattoo is the filling of a deep seeded void, be that as a marker of who they are, where they're from, where they're going, or in memory of someone close to them. For others, tattoos are viewed as the ticket price to be among the hip and trendy. An amazing example of the proprietors of this particular brand of nonsense is the show "LA Ink" which follows the drama fueled adventures of Kat Von Dee as she whores her way around the tattoo-ridden rockstar world. Shows such as this glamorize the tattoo industry. This overemphasis on the tattoo artists life overshadows the actual art being done, giving the masses atrocious examples of why they should or shouldn't get tattoos.

But behind the personal ramifications of the ignorant use of tattooing is a larger issue: The cheapening and degradation of other cultures. Many popular tattoos today are symbols for the believes and values rooted in other cultures. Trendy tattoos such as the Lotus Blossom and the Koi fish have deep historical, religious and sacred meanings to the Asian culture, yet they are tattooed on westerners without a second thought. And let us not ignore the ever popular "tribal" tattoos that plague the tattoo industry today. Some traditional tribal art is very meaningful to the Aboriginal and Indian peoples of the world. However, most "tribal art" from a modern day perspective is quite literally meaningless, and only functions as a form of adornment. Many societies in the world regard getting tattoos as a coming of age ceremony, yet here in America, tattooing at large has lost a lot of its meaning.

Another issue in this vein is the use of a foreign languages alphabet in another cultures tattooing industry. The best example of this is the over abundant use of traditional Chinese characters in US tattoos. Without going into any of the horror stories that I have heard second hand, it is a fact that just the slightest variation on any given shape of one of these complicated characters has the potential to dramatically alter it's meaning. Scarily enough, many tattoo artists do not have reliable reference points for the correct formation and context in which many of these characters are to be used to retain their meaning.

In former days, tattoos were viewed as a "middle finger" to societies standards and practices. What many people participating in this "tattoo boom" do not understand is that after this tattoo fad has passed, they will still have this artwork brandishing their body. As they get older, these people will violently crash into the wall of self realization that anyone not native to that time and place where they were considered cool, will negatively view them as an outcast in society.